My third teaching session - only one student!

My third teaching session - only one student. I must be really boring my students! When my teacher commented about a student who didn't turn up, he made a comment which I didn't fully appreciate at the time. He said:

"for students who can't turn up, they should actually tell me in advance out of courtesy..."

For my students who didn't turn up, I actually had to ask if they were coming, just to realise only one could make it that day.

I wonder if it's because the classes are free and hence less appreciated than paid-for classes. My initial thought was to make them pay at least a little bit so that they have a financial stake in the class. And I was planning to donate the proceeds away just as an added incentive for turning up for classes.

I voted against it to see if any students will turn up in the first place. Will see how this goes. But somehow, learning Tai Ji IS boring, until you get the "joy" of it. While performing just to show them the full form, someone commented on how I was "enjoying" it. He had a hard time describing what he saw.

I guess it's a compliment in a sense, although to the trained eye, I'm probably still quite some way off! The more important point is, how to make a Tai Chi class more interesting. Some people like being shown the applications, some like the fact that they're learning something, some like the social aspect of it, some treat it as a form of dance choreography - once you get the movements, you have learnt Tai Chi.

For starters, I guess I have to cater to all tastes, just to get them through the "door". If you have any other suggestions on how to make a class more interesting, please suggest away!

Learning less everyday

My Tai Ji teacher recently highlighted that (in general), people who needs to think a lot at work are normally those who progressed slowly in Tai Chi. I casually mentioned that I also fall into that category.... and then there was silence.... and then we laughed! :D

I think (yikes!) the "thinking" which is restricting growth is normally the conscious thinking that we do. Conscious learning cannot be applied at will. You can only hold so much thought at any one time. To react to an ever changing situation, conscious thinking is a poor processor. You need a processor which is much more intuitive and with potentially limitless capacity to adapt to our ever changing environment. I think we need to "push" conscious learning to the other-than-conscious mind. To learn less consciously and learn more intuitively.

I hope to use this philosophy - learning less everyday - when learning Tai Chi. Let's see where this will take us.

p/s: this reminds me very much of Yoda - unlearn what you have learnt. :)

Having faith

Today, I want to talk to you about having faith. Of course, i can't actually "talk" to you about it in the normal sense. But I do hope it will generate some thoughts in you and maybe connect us in a way as though we've just had a conversation, just because you have read my post. :)

I have been wanting to verbalise my thoughts on faith for a while. In an attempt to show my wisdom or ignorance on this topic (you be the judge), let's set the background a bit.

I have been learning tai ji for the past 10 years, without actually learning tai ji. I couldn't understand why I can't do the things I'm supposed to do. i couldn't understand why I can't learn the things I'm suppose to learn. I couldn't understand why has it taken me so long to find out that I haven't learnt anything!

Ok, to put things into perspective, I did learn something. I've learnt the movements associated with tai ji. You can instantly recognise someone doing tai ji by their slow movements in the park. I have learnt how to show those movements with reasonable proficiency which could pass as someone who knows a thing or two about tai ji to the untrained eye. They might see some grace in what I do, maybe even feel the softness and the calmness in the choreography.

To me, those are superficial, because I know I haven't learnt the real thing yet. I can theorise the principles associated with tai ji. I can relate the philosophy into my everyday life, although I can't apply it when I can, which goes back to my understanding of tai ji, which is not strong enough to apply in the everyday world.

To be fair, I have made some decisions in life based on the teachings of tai ji. So to say i can't apply the principles is not entirely true. But to be able to say I understand tai ji, I'll need to be able to apply it on a daily basis.

So what has all these got to do with having faith?

Some months ago, i started a private lesson in tai ji. There were plenty of doubts as you can see in this post. The top of the list of questions is "am I the worthy student". After several months, I still doubt myself, more often than expected, which also has the side effect of reducing how long and how hard I'm willing to train.

I'm not conceding that this is an unsolvable problem. In fact, this is not a problem to the world at large! There are plenty more problems that need solving immediately. But what do we normally do when a problem is unsolvable? What do we normally do when we are in despair? The common approach is to call out for God, to say your prayers, to ask for miracles.

It is this call that I want to talk about today.

I believe we have been calling for the wrong things. Regardless of your religion, we normally call for what we cannot achieve. And by calling for that, it's telling the whole world (and beyond) that you can't achieve what you want to achieve. Somehow, by calling this way, you are conceding you need out-of-this-world powers to help you achieve what you need to achieve.

I believe this is a self-prophecy. By telling the whole world that you can't do it, what you're going to get is just an echo of "you can't do it", which will in turn become the loudest broadcast to yourself to remind you that you can't do it. That's just going against what we are actually calling out in the first place!

I believe the call should be a call out to the world that I am going to have faith in myself. A call out to the world that I can actually solve the problem. A call out to the world that the solution that's presented to myself is for myself alone. And if that solution is not the solution I was expecting, maybe it's a solution to the "real" question that I am actually asking!

What I'm trying to say (in a roundabout way!) is that whatever you need is already in you. You just need to have faith in yourself. Having faith will immediately attract the tools you need for your solution. Instead of calling for the whole world to gang up on you, to remind you that you can't do it, you will have the whole world watching and urging you to succeed!

Choosing a tai chi style that suits you

There was a comment over at wuijimon's on how different tai chi style may suit different kinds of people. This may be caused by different character, different body structure, different goals etc. I'm bow-legged and so I can't exactly keep the knees directly on top of the toes. It'll will always be leaning inwards, but it feels right because the kua is relaxed (read Tai Ji is a pain in the knee) and the posture feels strong. The direction of the knee is still in the direction of the toes.

So different body structure may merit different styles, but probably more so on personalised ways of doing the same style. Tai Ji is an internal martial art after all, so although the expression can be different, the inner quality is the same - relax, relax, relax!

However, instead of looking for a style that suits me, I find myself enjoying each style depending on the inner state of mind! When feeling more energetic, Chen style. When feeling more graceful, Yang style. When feeling very calm, Sun style. It also works the other way, i.e. different style will make me FEEL differently. I hope this is not a case of multiple personality disorder! :D

I guess what I'm tying to say is not to be fixated on any styles. Certain style will suit you at certain point in your life. And certain styles are only available to you at certain point in life! This is certainly the case for me where I didn't exactly choose which style to start off tai chi with, but just joined a local class and learnt whatever the teacher was teaching at that time (which happened to be Wu style for my introduction into Tai Ji!).

Just keep an open mind. A particular Tai Chi style may choose you instead of you choosing a Tai Chi style!

Lesson update - relax kua technique

It's been a while since i've last written about my private tai chi lesson. I've finished the Sun style form some weeks ago, and now i suppose it's fine tuning. The usual suspects are still there - relax, relax, relax! Such a simple word and yet the permutations of body parts that can be relaxed is just too many! So i'm just going to highlight the one that I'm finding most difficult - the kua!

I guess many has written about the kua. I've linked it with why we have knee problems when doing tai ji. Just when I thought I was making some in roads, my push hands classes tell me otherwise. The message is always the same - the kua is not "loose" enough. Going through this with my teacher, he came up with a simple technique which I hope will help you too.

First, let's start with a test of loose kua. Do a horse stance. Turn your upper body to one side while in that stance. Both your knees should stay where they are. If they're following your movement, your kua is not loose.

To do this in a horse stance is difficult. So what he advised was to do it in a higher horse stance. Let the focus be on loosening the kua rather than do a "pretty" horse stance. Give the knees a rest. In fact, try to avoid bending the knees further in an attempt to loosen the kua. The knees are still kept bent though.

I find that this technique actually helps narrow the focus on relaxing the kua. It shuts out distractions from all the other body parts. Please let me know if this helps you, or if I've made this clear enough.

Music, rhythm, and tai chi

Music and rhythm. Do you find it helps your tai chi? Do you just have to have music in order to do tai ji or can make do without it?

My regular tai ji class normally plays some soothing music in the background. During the class, I don't actually realise it's there, but i think it helps in calming and slowing down the movements. It's a push hand class, so it probably can keep everyone from getting too "enthusiastic" in pushing!

Being in the park this morning, there's a group of tai chi class which moves to the beat of the music. Everyone started the form when the music started, and finished the form when the music stopped. And then there's this other group who only made some "grunts". I think it's some sort of "qi gong" method. All they did were some "aw"ing and "ooo"ing.

So what role does music play in your tai chi? Do you do it to the rhythm? Does it relax you? Or do you literally use music as a training method?

In the midst of all the different music going on in the park, I find my senses tuned in most to the rustling of the leaves, the chirping of the birds, the whistling of the insects. The quieter the mind, the louder they are. Now, that's music. :)

My first private tai ji lesson

To say it’s my first private tai ji lesson might not be entirely true, as I have come across several teachers over the years. None of those extended beyond anything more permanent. This is the first time I am able to commit to a teacher, or to be more accurate, this is the first time that an opportunity presented itself in the form of a teacher just for me!

The class started off with some of the standard questions - how long you’ve been doing tai ji, what style, what teacher etc. Then, it’s “show me your tai ji”. I was a bit nervous as I haven’t had ONE pair of eyes staring only at me. It was 6 in the morning. There weren’t many other people to distract him.

I did Chen Lao Jia Yi Lu. I was trying hard to show my best, but because of that, my mind just couldn’t relax to let it flow. Nothing was connecting. And then the leg got wobbly because of lack of concentration. And then I forgot a move. Imagine that…

I eventually stopped half-way and just asked him “how was it”.

“You look a bit nervous…”

*feeble smile* (You’re damn right…)

Because of the many corrections required, he suggested that I start afresh with a new style and stick to it. This does have the advantage of not requiring me to unlearn all my previous bad habits, plus it’s something new to learn, which is always nice in itself. And there it goes, my first lesson in Sun style tai ji.

I picked up the general form quite easily due to the similarities with the other styles. One thing which required a bit of adjustment is the leg movement. It features quite a mobile base. I’m sure I will write more about this in time.

After all the “hard work”, we started chatting. I asked him about his training previously. It was 3 hours in the morning, 3 hours at night. Mental note - I’m not doing enough, not even close! I asked him about standing poles vs form training. He trained mostly in forms. He said standing poles are good, but don’t do too long. It gives a good root, but may lead you to having “dead weight”, i.e. the feet may become accustom to one posture and will not be as nimble. He told me to focus on doing the form, and making sure each movement is well rooted. That’s as much as I can remember from the lesson.

It feels good to be part of a class again. Gets me focused on training and won’t stray too far off from getting the basics correct rather than cultivating another set of bad habits.

Taking private lessons

Chessman wrote a very interesting article on personal transmission in Tai Ji. I've always suspected that some things are better, or sometimes only, taught personally rather than in a group setting. I've heard stories of how other teachers learn and the better ones are those who just practise with their teachers on a daily basis. However, there's a constant internal struggle on whether I should go down this route. The hotly debated points boil down to the following:

1. Am I the worthy student?

I guess this is on top of the list - always doubting myself whether I can actually go to a higher level. I enjoy learning all aspects of Tai Ji. But could I actually be that worthy student? Am I talented enough to go to the higher level? I can't kid myself on this as some talent is required. Could I actually be that person?

2. Is he/she a worthy teacher?

A more difficult question to answer, as you'll never find out until some time down the line when you begin find more questions than can be answered by the teacher.

3. Can I afford the fees?

This could be at the top as well because, if it's free, I would have tried it out for a few sessions to see if I'm getting the real deal! Never mind if I'm the worthy student or if the teacher is good. Plus, like wujimon, I've got a sore spot for martial arts. If it's quality training, I am quite willing to pay. However, I am accountable to more than myself now.

4. Can I afford the time?

I have all the time in the world now and yet I can't justify to myself to spend on a private tutor. When I rejoin the rat race, I have a feeling that time will be a luxury. However, I can afford it then though. ;)

So....

It's difficult to find a balance between these factors. Or maybe I'm just missing something really obvious here, like what do I really want... or how badly do I want it?

Have you debated these in your head before? I think these criteria equally applies to anything that you have thought of learning, be it yoga, salsa, a new language, piano, how to draw, how to write etc. What thought process did you go through? Did it boil down to these 2 questions - what do you really really want & how badly do you want it?