Rules of engagement

I was enjoying myself in a push hand exercise but my training partner was intent on uprooting me!

I asked: "Why push me all the way?"

He said: "In order to win in a push hand contest, I have to make at least one of your foot leave the ground to score a point."

"But I'm not in contest with you?!"

"You have to be, because that's how you will win!"

"I'm not trying to win! I'm trying to learn..."

"But every game has its rules of engagement. In push hands, that's the rule of engagement, to win."

At which point I realised that my rules of engagement were different to his!

It's quite liberating to remind myself why I do push hands in the first place. I'm trying to learn sensitivity, I'm trying to learn to relax, and above all, I'm trying to enjoy myself. Those are my rules of engagement. Facing an opponent like him, I've actually learnt more because of his different rules of engagement.

It might be a good thing to clarify the rules of engagement before you actually engage a person. But that defies the Rule of Diversity. The Rule of Diversity dictates that you'll have to train with different people, so that you will actually meet people with different rules of engagement!

That, brings us back to why we have to understand that different people will have different hands. :)